Sandy Hook Elementary Tragedy

20356619_SSWe as Americans all share a common grief, sadness and pain from this unspeakable event. We all grieve differently, something I discovered when my 16 year old son was killed in San Diego many years ago. Soon, we will begin to hear about how members of that immediate community, teachers and students at the school, as well as the parents and friends of those who lost their lives, will begin to find closure.

It is usually always those who have never experienced such a loss who suggest such things. Closure is a fairy tale told to bereaved parents by well-intentioned friends. What they suggest as closure is actually a new reality, a new backdrop for the rest of their lives. If you want to help, simply say I’m sorry for your loss. That would be the truest and most helpful thing you can possibly say. Anything beyond that will only mark you as one without such experience.

To all who have lost loved ones, especially those family members from the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy who have lost children, brothers and sisters, I am sorry for your loss. I personally understand the loss of a child, but I also understand that I can’t know exactly how you feel. You will work that out for yourselves. But I have felt something similar, terrifyingly similar, and I hope with every good wish possible, that the love and support from others will help you adjust to your new reality

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